I’m not going to make a lot of big assumptions here. You own a skillet of some sort. You have some jars of jankity-ass spices from who-knows-when. You want to eat some tacos within the next, like, fifteen minutes. I got you covered, bachelor(ette).

• 2 Tbsp all-purpose flour
• 2 1/2 tsp. chili powder
• 3/4 tsp. onion powder (or 1 1/2 tsp. minced yellow onion)
• 1 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. paprika
• 3/4 tsp beef bouillon powder
• 1/4 tsp. granulated sugar
• 1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
• 1/4 tsp. garlic powder
• 1 tsp. cumin

Put all this in something with a lid, add 3/4 cup of water, and shake it. Brown a pound of ground beef, then pour the whole situation in there. Stir. Cook it down until it looks like you only put in half a cup of water. You have tacos now.

Vegetarians

I’ve made this with that soy protein “ground beef” and it does not surprisingly taste like someone put spices on a stack of cheap bar coasters and ran it all through a blender. (Vegetable) oil the skillet when you’re dealing with that stuff, unless you’re looking for excuses to buy a new one.

If you leave out the bouillon for the sake of doing things vegan-style you’ll probably want to nudge up the salt a little.